Scariest day of my life...

I woke up on this day having barely slept. I was still thinking about that damn bone scan. It's all I could think of. I wasn't breathing properly and was shaking. It was crazy. I have been so positive through this horrible ordeal but all I could think was what if this test comes back positive? Then what? I went to the Nuclear Diagnostics lab where they injected a dye in me that would travel through my body for the next two hours.  I was to eat and drink as normal and return for the bone scan. Yeah right! Between the dye injection and the bone scan, I went to the Cancer Centre for a chemo teaching session. I learned about a lot of the side effects (hair loss everywhere including my head, eyelashes, eyebrows and everything south of there), lack of appetite, muscle and joint soreness, mouth sores, tiredness, drowsiness, food aversions, food tasting funny, a compromised immune system, nausea, man oh man! I also learned about all the medicines I would be taking along with the chemotherapy medicines. There are so many drugs to take and they are so expensive! As soon as the teaching session ended, it was time to head right back to diagnostics. By the time I got myself up and into that machine I was beside myself. I was shaking and tearing up and crying.  I was basically a mess. I silently cried most of the time I was being scanned. Derek and I would know the results by the end of the day. Now all we could do was wait until my GP called us with the results. When he finally called four hours later Derek and I were so tense. I made a joke when he asked for me. I said, "Hi doc, tell me you have good news!"  He paused, and paused, and paused, and paused. It must have been 15 seconds.  Those were the longest 15 seconds of my life. In retrospect, I think I took him by surprise, caught him off guard.  At the time I thought he was formulating a way to break the bad news to me. In the end, he told me that everything came back benign.  Have you ever watched a show and seen someone collapse to the floor in relief? I've always thought that it seemed over acted.  I can now tell you that I no longer feel that way. That's what I did. I collapsed to the floor in relief - I was like Bambi. My legs could not hold me up. I was shaking, sweating, freezing and crying. My emotions were impossible to control. The cancer had not spread into my bones. I remember calling my parents and talking to my Dad. I ended up bawling. It was such an emotional relief that I was a crying mess. I thank my lucky stars...