Chemo is my new reality...

My new reality set in on December 10th. I met with my first medical oncologist (chemotherapy doctor) at Lakeridge Oshawa. At this time, it was determined that I would begin my cancer treatment with chemotherapy. If I chose to go through with my treatment at Lakeridge Oshawa, I could begin treatment as early as the following week. We asked the doctor to potentially set us up for the Thursday or Friday as we were meeting with the medical oncologist at Sunnybrook on December 17th and wanted to be able to make our choice then. We went on to discuss chemotherapy - what it is, what it does and how my treatment would be different or the same between Lakeridge and Sunnybrook. Chemo kills or shrinks cancer cells and attacks blood cells, both the healthy and unhealthy cells. Chemo is regulated by the province of Ontario therefore it is identical from hospital to hospital. Hmmm...maybe we should stay in Oshawa? It's winter and we know what snow and icy conditions can do to traffic. Driving in to Sunnybrook regularly was looking less and less like the better option. The treatment plan that the oncologist recommended for us would have me doing chemo every other week for eight doses - that would be a minimum of 16 weeks of therapy (therapy time would be extended if my white blood cell count was too low as they would have to push my chemotherapy to the following week to allow my body to continue to reproduce white blood cells). The doctor also told us that I would have to also meet with her the day before each chemo treatment. Blood work would be done and she would then determine whether treatment would happen the next day or the following week. Hmmm...again, Lakeridge was looking more promising. This was something Derek and I were definitely going to have to discuss, quickly. I would have a number of tests done before chemo was to happen - a bone scan to see if the cancer had spread to my bones, a CT scan to see if the cancer had spread to my liver, kidneys, lungs, spine or neck and an MRI (more imaging of my organs). My question to the doctor was what can be done if the cancer had spread to my bones. The answer - NOTHING!  Holy shit! I'm not even sure I heard anything else she told Derek and I. I couldn't get that thought from my head. Nothing could be done if the cancer had invaded my bones. For the next 24 hours all I could think about was my baby boy, Riley. At that point, Derek and I made the choice - we were going through Lakeridge. We weren't seeing the oncologist at Sunnybrook until December 17th and they had told us that treatment may not start until after Christmas, possibly into the new year. No way! The thought of the cancer spreading further into my body was enough for us to decide on Lakeridge. In fact, our medical oncologist was willing to squeeze us in to get chemo treatment started on Tuesday, December the 16th. Our decision was made...