I will survive...

I passed the halfway point and I feel like I can finally see the end in sight. It helps that for the first time in five weeks, I feel good. No more aches and pains from the chemo. No more strep throat. No more bronchitis and colds.  I am a little stuffy (that is actually from the chemo as my mucus glands don't work quite as well) but I feel good.  There are 34 days left until my last chemo treatment and 41 days until I feel good after my last treatment. I cannot tell you how long that feels still and yet, I can see the end in sight. Many people say to me 'Not much longer'. Trust me, going though it, it still feels so far away. I do finally feel though that we have passed the halfway mark and that the end is reachable. When this whole process began, March 24th felt like an eternity. It felt like it may never come. January and February typically feel like slow-passing months for me but never like this January and February. I have three more treatments - February 24th, March 10th and March 24th. I can do it. I feel like I can do it. I was so scared for the fifth treatment. I didn't know what to expect. I was emotionally and physically drained after being sick for four weeks and then going into this treatment being told I would feel much more pain and that I was going to lose any other hair I had left including my eyebrows and eyelashes. I am not as afraid going into my sixth treatment next week. I know what to expect including spending over four hours at chemotherapy and how much pain I will be in and for how long. I can do it. I will do it. I know what the pain feels like and I can do it. I've tried to explain what the pain feels lay down but it is hard. I've never experienced this type of pain. It is intense. If I could try and explain the pain, it would be as though someone is drilling into my bones and then squeezing them. Even that doesn't really explain the pain well, but it is a start. I felt aches in many places but the severe pain was in my knees, hips and lower back. No matter, three more times. I can do it. I will do it. I am a survivor...