Waking up to another good day...

Until I get my injection later today.  That always sucks. After the injection, I usually get a little nauseous and the muscle aches kick in about 3-4 hours later. Later on today, perhaps tonight or tomorrow morning, I will also get the bone and joint pains. Having said that, I would rather deal with the pain then have the constant nausea. I can count the days down until I know the pain will go away. It should be gone more or less by Sunday night or Monday. The pain killers help too! Looking forward to a good day...

A reminder that I can conquer anything...

I had wanted a tattoo since I was 18 but never got one. I always wanted it to be meaningful but I never quite knew what I wanted that remain meaningful for life.  Now just might be the time. I have found a few images that I like but ones that I an certainly not committed to. Initially I thought I would only want one tattoo but I like the one under the breast (except I would probably have it read 'I am the toughest chick I know'), the one on the back of the neck (maybe a little smaller though and a bit higher up), and the one on the wrist (except written more like the one that says survivor on the shoulder). I like the idea of having 'fighter' on one wrist and the then 'survivor' once everything is said and done. I love the idea of always being reminded that I can (and will in this case) conquer anything...

    

              

            

                                                  

                                                                                                                  

                                                                                                                                                                                                           

  

The end is near...

Today was interesting. I went for my chemo treatment that takes forever! Again, the first thing the nurses gave me was Benedryl. I could not stop fidgeting, moving and squirming.  I was so frustrated because I just wanted to lie down. I caved. I asked the nurse for an Ativan. That really helped and I was off to lala land, quickly. It definitely helped to pass the four and a half hour treatment and I didn't feel nearly as nauseous.  I was still tired when I got home and kept nodding off to sleep. Things were happening around me that I wasn't registering. At one point I woke up and told Derek that when he and Riley went to hockey practice I was going to go get a cheeseburger Happy Meal from McDonald's. He did everything in his power to sway me from driving - call your parents.  I just fell back asleep and forgot all about it! I must have slept again for another hour. Derek called me at the end of practice. I was starving! We went to grab some munchies. I felt really well today after my treatment, aside from being tired. Not sure about how much sleep I will get tonight but I feel good. I suspect I will feel good until about three hours after my injection tomorrow when all my muscles will ache and then shortly after that when all my joints and bones will hurt. I'll take it!...

The day before...

Tomorrow, I am on my sixth chemo treatment. I can't wait. I seriously can't wait. I have 28 days until my last chemo treatment, about 35 until I feel good again. Not too long and I will be able to count down the days on my fingers and toes! My oncologist measured my tumor today and it has shrunk to about 4cm now! We did talk about what stage my cancer was at the beginning and she did tell me that I am/was a stage 3A. They will again measure the tumor when I have my mastectomy and give it a stage but the initial stage will always trump any other stage given. I am in a very positive frame of mind, more so than I felt two weeks ago. Two weeks ago I still felt that I had a long road to travel until I arrived at the end of chemo. Today, I can feel how much shorter my journey. I am not looking forward to feeling the pain for another five to six days but I know that after that pain has subsided, I will only have two treatments left. A small price to pay...

I will survive...

I passed the halfway point and I feel like I can finally see the end in sight. It helps that for the first time in five weeks, I feel good. No more aches and pains from the chemo. No more strep throat. No more bronchitis and colds.  I am a little stuffy (that is actually from the chemo as my mucus glands don't work quite as well) but I feel good.  There are 34 days left until my last chemo treatment and 41 days until I feel good after my last treatment. I cannot tell you how long that feels still and yet, I can see the end in sight. Many people say to me 'Not much longer'. Trust me, going though it, it still feels so far away. I do finally feel though that we have passed the halfway mark and that the end is reachable. When this whole process began, March 24th felt like an eternity. It felt like it may never come. January and February typically feel like slow-passing months for me but never like this January and February. I have three more treatments - February 24th, March 10th and March 24th. I can do it. I feel like I can do it. I was so scared for the fifth treatment. I didn't know what to expect. I was emotionally and physically drained after being sick for four weeks and then going into this treatment being told I would feel much more pain and that I was going to lose any other hair I had left including my eyebrows and eyelashes. I am not as afraid going into my sixth treatment next week. I know what to expect including spending over four hours at chemotherapy and how much pain I will be in and for how long. I can do it. I will do it. I know what the pain feels like and I can do it. I've tried to explain what the pain feels lay down but it is hard. I've never experienced this type of pain. It is intense. If I could try and explain the pain, it would be as though someone is drilling into my bones and then squeezing them. Even that doesn't really explain the pain well, but it is a start. I felt aches in many places but the severe pain was in my knees, hips and lower back. No matter, three more times. I can do it. I will do it. I am a survivor...

My little Valentine...

My little guy made me a charm bracelet for Valentine's Day. He was so excited to give it to me. It's beautiful. He added white, pink and red beads and hearts to a bracelet while he was at my Mom and Dad's place. I was told that my little guy worked so hard and diligently at it. He was so proud! When he gave me my Valentine's present, he was beaming from ear to ear. He has the cutest little mischievous grin and he was shining it right at me. When I opened my beautiful bracelet up, he told me that he loved me and that this bracelet was for me to have a chemo and while he had sleepovers at my parents place so that I wouldn't forget him and how much he loves me. Like I could ever...

Round 5: Lisa 5 Chemo 0

This chemo treatment has been different from all previous treatments.  It took over four hours for the treatment. I didn't feel nearly as sick (maybe a day of nausea) but the pain. Oh the pain. After my injection, I got the usual aches and pains (the ones that feel like I have the flu). I also got crazy pains in my joints, especially in my knees, hips and lower back. It's weird because you can't really pinpoint exactly where the pain is (aside from the general area). Pain medicine really only takes the edge off the pain. It doesn't take the pain away. It's a bit better today but it is still so uncomfortable. Hopefully the aches and pains go away before my next treatment. I really can't get comfortable...

Fifth one down...

I had my fifth treatment of eight today. It was tough. We were there for over four hours, closer to five. I had to have four different bags of fluids (the medicine) injected into me. They started with Benedryl to make sure I don't have a reaction to the chemo drug. I did have a reaction to the Benedryl however. I couldn't keep still. I was so twitchy and my poor bald head was very itchy. Restless leg kicked in. This went on for about 20 minutes. Brutal when you are uncomfortable and all you want to do is sleep because you are so drowsy. They followed the Benedryl with a steroid. After the steroid, I was given anther drug (I don't even remember what it was now because I was so out of it.) I finally got my chemo drug. It took three hours to get that into my body. They regularly had to come and check my vital signs to make sure I was handling the drug okay.  I slept for most of the three hours. When it was time to go home, I was so weak. A nurse saw me walking down the hall and made me sit and wait for Derek to get the car. She was so worried I was going to faint. I got home and went straight to bed. I slept for another three hours. When I got up, I felt pretty good. I no longer felt nauseous. I went to bed a little later than usual (I did have a lot of sleep in the afternoon)! I still felt none of the promised aches and pains. I am sure they are still coming but for now, I am happy! I will definitely have aches and pains tomorrow, one way or another as I will get my blood cell booster injection. That always guarantees at least two days of pain. Yippee. On the bright side, fifth one down, only three to go...

'Halfway there, livin' on a prayer'...

Tomorrow is my halfway point of chemotherapy and I can't wait...to be done! These last two weeks were hard. I developed bronchitis just after I recovered from the chemo.  It made me weak and tired. We went to the doctor's this morning and my blood counts are normal and I am good to go for my fifth round of chemo. The doctor didn't measure my tumor this week but was confident that it would have continued to shrink. With this next round of chemo bring a new drug. I shouldn't be quite so nauseous but I will probably feel more pain in my muscles and joints. In fact, I now have prescribed pain medication. Looking forward to that - not! I am hoping that with this round, I will remain virus-free and recover so I can enjoy the better part of the second week before going back in for my next round. Halfway there...

World Cancer Day 2015

February 4th, 2015 (today), is World Cancer Day. As one of my dear friends put it best, too bad it wasn't World No More Cancer Day. I have included a couple links on my blog today that are very useful and helpful. They are completely worth reading into and checking out.

www.herhistory.ca 
This site talks about the HER breast cancer gene. The report is very well laid out and extremely well written. It is written in user-friendly language that truly helps you to understand breast cancer and the risks, therapies, genetics and the future of breast cancer.

www.mycanceriq.ca
On this site, you can actually do a quiz to see what your chances of developing breast cancer, cervical cancer, lung cancer and colon cancer are. At the end you will be given a report based on your answers.

It's been a challenge...

This round has been a struggle.  It took me longer than it has previously to recover. Then I developed quite a cold (I am still fighting it). I still don't feel 100%. I can't believe how fatigued I feel and how weak I am. I have lost four pounds in a week - typically this would make me happy but I have tried to maintain my weight throughout this process as I need all the strength and energy I can muster. I felt like I was robbed of my weekend with my family. I was colouring with my son and I became exhausted. I actually had to lie down for half an hour - from colouring! Throughout the weekend I had moments where I still felt queasy and I needed to take a nap, albeit a short one. Usually we host a Super Bowl party and we had to differ it to another friend this year. That sucks. I hate how this cancer is robbing me of moments in my life. There are many days when I am too tired to get my son ready for bed. I can rarely take our dog for a walk because it is so cold and it takes so long for me to warm up or because it is too tiring for me to walk around the block. I dislike that I can't go in to school to see my class as I am afraid to pick some sickness up. I was angry on Sunday. I get that it takes 96 hours to five days to feel better from the chemo but it is taking at least five to six days now to start getting better. It is frustrating because I want to spend time with my family. I want to go out and do things. I want to be active. I am not looking forward to going for my next treatment...